How do owners feel?
Just over 12 months ago, I was dauntingly faced with standing on the other side of the veterinary consult room table. After performing many thousands of consultations as a vet, this was like stepping into an alternate reality.
I was the one unexpectedly pulled from my normal Sunday morning routine, into the pristine, disinfectant smelling surrounds of a veterinary emergency hospital. I had left small members of my family at home crying, sad but expectant that Mum, who usually makes everything right again, would definitely perform with flying colours this time, as it was her perceived domain of expertise or excellence.
I felt a turbulent concoction of emotions coursing through my body- fear, sadness, anxiety and guilt all at once.
Our beloved Burmese cat Polly had taken a walk on the wild side into our neighbour’s yard and had an unfortunate interaction with their dog. Performing exactly as cats are apt to do in these situations, she’d jumped high into the neighbour’s garage and silently hid in pain. It took us 24 hours to locate her; hence the guilt coursing through my veins.
Why hadn’t I found her sooner?
Here she was now, hypothermic, septic and only just conscious.
As an owner on the other side of the consult table, I held the weight of responsibility on my shoulders to make everything right again. Not just for Polly but for the concerned little family members at home. What’s more, I was a vet… Couldn’t I fix her?
How much was this going to cost?
What were the chances of her surviving even if we did everything?
Big decisions with consequences needed to be made quickly.
I think after this emotional event in my life, I became an even more compassionate vet. If there are times, when I can feel impatience seeping into my being, I take myself back to this day when I stood on the other side of the consult room table.
Forever etched into my memory is how difficult this day was for me.
However, I also vividly remember the kindness, compassion and patience gifted to me unselfishly by the vets and nurses caring for Polly. It was a beautiful thing.
The ending to this story was not a Disney one. I didn’t end up being the wonder Mum/vet who makes everything right again. Polly was treated for 12 hours in intensive care, but I was gently and carefully advised by her treating vets, (at a time when I couldn’t think unemotionally with my vet brain), that her chance of survival was extremely low and we very sadly let her cross the rainbow bridge.
On reflection and with time, I came to accept that I can’t always be the hero at home or at work.
And that’s ok.
But what I can do and what we can all do, is show kindness.
Kindness goes such a long way.
The other thing I learnt is to never forget what it feels like to stand on the other side of the consult room table.
I know how owners feel…